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Rent Review

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Aid [Nov. 6th, 2007|07:01 pm]
Rent Review

rent_review

[nederlandergirl]
Title: Aid
Author of story: Lynne the Canuck
Author of critique:
nederlandergirl
Rating of story: 6
Brief summmary: "Roger hasn't been feeling well, lately, and I don't want him to know how scared I am. Mark's perspective.[One shot]"
Story link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3796530/1/Aid
I'd say that on the whole, this story was a success. It conveyed Mark's panic without getting too cheesy or overemotional, and it showed good understanding of the AIDS virus.
    The story could have been a little longer than it was. It had a very nice ending, complete with a quote from Without You, but it seemed to have cut off too quickly, as if the author had been in a rush to end it.
    Friendship was nicely conveyed. Mark's thoughts were told a bit too logically- it all seemed to make too much sense. His thoughts were too reasonable, as if he was describing the setting on a college entrance exam.
    I recommend this story to any fans of Roger.

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